Maiyya's constellations PART 1

Where is she

Our childhood was without emotions of anger,revenge,jealousy,vice,malice,darkness,ego. As we aged these terms took a significant place in our dictionary of thoughts. Sometimes we knew the reality but we were so entangled in the worldly forces that we started believng these characters to be true and started giving them significance. I ended up crying one day. How do I describe that cry?Well it was  filled with lot of pain but it gave me relief. I felt light for I understood that atleast now I was able to differentiate between what was right and what was wrong. It was good that I was able to appreciate the difference but how was it possible to always stand with the truth in a world where everything was so complicated and the evil always tried to dominate. It was in that thought that I began praying, I poured all my emotions and feelings into my prayer. All those emotions did stand on the lower levels of my spiritual awakening but I was confident that with her name on my lips, with her thoughts in my mind,with her fragrance in my heart all states could be transcended.

Maiyya Vaishno I come to surrender on your feet, your feet smells sandalwood mixed with the glory of the knowledge of  self. As it hits my forehead all the worldly attachments around are vanished. The hit is so hard I tend to forget my past, I cant focus on the happenings around in the present and I forget all my worries about my future. Your feet has such tremendous power that I fall in a different corner of the universe where I dont see anyone except you. I dont even see myself. Yet I feel my existence!I shout as loud as I can "Maiyaaaa.........Maiyaaaa". My voice is heard by me but there is no response from her,her the only person whom I can see.

The state is indescibable. Only Maiyya Vaishno is seen and all else has vanished. She pulls her sword suddenly and pierces it in the air around. I'm dumbstruck because there is a sudden pain in my chest. The next moment I'm able to see Maiyya's chest bleed with dark blood. It seems it is raining blood all around . My vision appears to be painted red. Despite all the blood,I see a certain calmness in her eyes. They appear to be silent as if in some contemplative mood. Blood flows endlessly from her chest but she remains composed.Ah! The very next second I see a smile appear on her face,not a victorious one or a smile of achievement but a smile that defines a state of satiety of feeling one's own Existence in an effortless manner.

Maiyya begins dancing in ecstacy. Her hands move in the synchrony of the starlight, her legs move in the syncrony of the waterfalls, her eyes focus on all shades of nature around turning their pictures within her, blending with all forces and making them pass through her, But believe me her soul appears still...Like the water of a lake.The dance seems to be just a symbolism of all the external happenings trying to conquer her body but are the external forces aware that she  had already conquered her soul when time began its journey by simply accepting it in its purest form.I have completely forgotten about myself and am lost in understanding  her character.

She stops her dance in a position where her hands are joined together and her eyes closed.I'm unable to see her now!Where did she suddenly disappear?

Where did she go?Where is she????..

A million heartbeats roaring

My thirst remains the same and I continue my search for answers. For me answers mean Maiyya Vaishno so I once again begin focussing all of my energy on her, she the creator and she the destroyer, the enlightened being and at the same time the one redefining infinity every second, the flame of anger to swallow darkness and also the wave of bliss that freezes the motion of an uneasy soul, the breath of contentment yet the breath that is going deeper and deeper!I think of her!

The sun shines bright,spreading its light in all the directions it feels a need to reach longer distances. Growing energy of this tendency leads to a huge explosion within the sun and originates from its surface the epitome of a waterfall producing waves in fire-Maiyya Vaishno. That truly is the birth of the being that had always existed but must not be forgotten to be understood as the flowers of glory the adobe of which is the garden somewhere within seeking to be known.

Her vehicle the golden lion with the speed of light begins racing in the sky and Maiyya's vision spread its vibrance in the hearts of all the sparrows flying around..It appears as if she has become a part of the flock, the flock which has immersed itself in the divine aura of Maiyya. Nature in its amusement watchesthe scene, happy to be a part of her glory it truly feels enchanted and blissful by the grace.

And then something unimaginable happens. The peak of a huge mountain comes in the path of Maiyya Vaishno's path and her lion collides with it! She and the lion pierce the peak and drill within but dont come outside from the other end..The mountain is not an obstruction but a different dimension of the cosmos which embraced her.She is now in that cave, still and silent contemplating on the self.

Why did Maiyya settle in the cave?What made her do so?

She gave me wings to fly to her

Why am I not able to feel her every second? Is she an illusion that keeps on disappearing from my sight? Or are the barriers in my mind some illusions which tend to divert me from Maiyya Vaishno. Why does this happen? Can't I achieve a state where I am totally devoted to her, I experience her and nothing else. I'm unable to uderstand whether this feeling gives me pain or a different level of motivation to connect with her in the deepest sense.

Her hair so long touches the soil at the bottom of the cave. It creates a wave so huge that the soil completely thrusts its energy  in all directions. All strands are coloured with the particles of soil as if making diamond beads on necklace's of platinum. And rivers start flowing from them to reach the ground producing a fragrance that turns the whole cave into a million petalled lotus, the abode of Maiyya on the mountain top.

Maiyya's forehead has her third eye. Through this she doesn's see me rather she gives me powers and blessings so that I am able to see and feel her existance in my life. It has a tremendous depth which puts me in different situations where my trust in her is tested every second. Her third eye makes me believe in an ultimate truth wich I always knew but had ignored in recent times.

Her throat has a forest hidden within through which chirps of birds enchant to the emotions of love and roars of lions scare the ignorant. The most beautiful part remains that familiar voice of a mother who calls her children when they run away from her, that voice enthralls all the emotions within and asks us are we following  our duties of being good children in the right manner?

In her many hands she holds a sword, a bow and arrow, a lotus, a trident, a bell, a conch shell. She slays the wrath of the evil, shoots light that pierces darkness, spreads her fragrance through every means, plays the bell and the conch shell to mesmerise the world about a realisation of one's own self.Her hands appear to be like sunrays that reach different directions to spread energy.

It is very easy to get distracted from the path of god but it is even tougher to leave that path once one engages totally and makes attempts to understand god. The same is happenning with me right now. I forgot to describe her feet. It is beyond my ability to talk of it at this moment since I am currently in an euphoria produced by her feet.Yes, I am at her feet.It seems she wants to speak to me. I raise my head.
What will she say????

The waterfall flows in its galaxy

Maiyya speaks in her mesmerising voice:

"Son

I want you to know

Through the emotions that flow

That it was not only you who made attempts to move closer to me

But even I was moving towards you always

And we are united today to prove

That our being united is the ultimate truth!

Let me tell you that we have fights to fight

Cruel Bhaironath stands outside the cave with his might

tell me tell me son

Will you fight against such demon with me

Will you destroy bhaironath the embodiment of lust,greed,evil intent with me

Will you???"

I reply in a firm voice "Yes Maiyya Vaishno!We shall fight Bhaironath together!We shall fight this evil and slay his head"

(to be continued......)