Bhakti Anubhuti Shakti

There are tears in my eyes and a shiver in my soul. I am barely able to see anything and I know now that I’m about to fall. Suddenly I realise someone hold my hand from behind. I turn and find an old man looking at me intently. “Dada, why are you holding my hand..I’m already in trouble please leave me...”

“I’ve come to heal you...” he says in a very low voice.

“What?”

“Err.. I said even I am in trouble can you guide me to the Kailash mountain?”

“Yes...”

His hand are soft yet firm. I'm lost in my thoughts of doubt, fear and purpose as I walk with him towards the Kailash mountain. 

"Why do your eyes look moist child?"

"Nothing Dada.. nothing like that"

The old man leaves my hand and puts his hands on my shoulder, the touch is mystical. I look at his face. He looks calm as if there was a silent river flowing within him. I feel this ardent urge to pour my soul in that river. During this same time I realise I've lost my way.

"Dada I'm really sorry, It seems that I've lost my way..you should ask someone else for the way.."

"You are on the right way child"

I feel I've been captivated by some divine force..

"What do you feel right now child"

As if hypnotised by a magician, I reply-"I feel like pouring my soul into yours"

"What is this emotion called"

"Bhakti", I reply instantly

"Who am I " he asks

"Who am I " I reply

"Who are you" he asks

"The same soul as you" I reply

I ask "who are you"

"The same soul as you" he replies

I feel a wave of peace hit my heart, a wave of bliss a wave of devotion. This very moment I realise that we have reached the mount Kailash. I'm startled.

"How did we reach hear Dada, I thought we had lost our way"

"He who has Bhakti in his heart, never looses his way child..."

"What is your name Dada?"

"Ram...."he begins and as he begins I hear a voice of water flowing in a rhythm.

"Krishna..." He continues,I feel the voice coming closer to me slowly but deeply.

"Paramhans." He ends and I now see a whole river flow from the mountain top. To my amazement I see Ram Krishna Paramhansa's reflection in the water, ah! But where is he? The person who brought me to Kailash is not standing beside me anymore! Ah! He stands within me now as I realise his glory through his reflection in the river, the river flowing into me.

Kailash mountain is humongous and the river decorates it like a Jewel. From behind the mountain peak I notice the sun rise. What it takes to rise? I ask myself? It takes courage and firm faith in oneself. Darkness illusions ignorance must be destroyed to make the truth visible. As I realise this the sun's light brightens in intensity and it is impossible for me to now look at it, but it has already penetrated my vision now. I see the sun convert into a huge eye, the third eye. The mountain converts into Lord Shiva's chest and face. I bow before him, I bow before his third eye which put light on the truth. When I rise after bowing I find a hole made in the lord's chest...a cave. I begin to walk within it.

The cave is dark. Is it dark or is it depth? What is my depth? What is my core? Isn't my core "Shakti" or power. Amidst these thoughts I light a Diya. The flame shows me the wonders of the cave. What seemed to be dark was now an epitome of potential. Potential of Shakti. The caves walls smells of the same oil I used to light the diya. What? The light and the one showing the light are the same? And who lit the Diya? My eyes now search for her. I sit down in the cave now placing the diya in front of me. I close my eyes and guide all my Shakti onto the flame. "Open your eyes my child"

I open my eyes to find my head resting on someone's feet. The feet looks divine for it is of my mother, my mother Durga, my origin. She asks me to get up, but I don't, I stay there forever, for I've found my Shakti, Ma Durga.