THE SOUL OF SARASWATI

Saraswati. Who was she? When was she born? Where is she right now? Who can see her? Whom does she adore? Who adores her?Can I find her? Will she accept me?

Ah! I wake up! The questions still echoing in my mind and heart. I take a quick bath and begin my walk towards the village temple. Bowing before Ma Durga I repeat all the questions which had come in my dream. I begin the parikrama of the temple, that is walking around the whole temple focussing all energy in the centre with the emotion of surrendering to the goddess. Amidst the ninth and the last  parikrama I notice something behind the temple, a little girl sitting with a veena(a string instrument). There is a divine light on her face and her smile gives peace to my soul,her aura so captivating that I stop my parikrama in between and walk towards her.

"hey little girl, do you know to play that veena", I ask

"hey big boy, do you know the science of its music?", she replies with a question and i'm taken aback by the wits of the little girl.

Somehow I feel my intelligence is all gone and all I want is to listen and know  what she knows, all I want to do is to surrender and focus all my energy onto that little girls soul. Thus I reply as if I know nothing,"no devi, I would be blessed to know that from you",  and now she smiles. As im still lost in my thoughts of why I called her a devi, she begins to reply.

"There should be satiety and modesty of knowing something but you must at the same time remain hungry to know the unknown, the infinite , the brhama. That desire, that conscience should make waves arise on barren land, waves of devotional music", as she says this tears come in her eyes and come down on the land. Slowly a huge river arises from those little drops of her tears.

I am dumbstruck, I ask" what is happening?"

"Oh big boy you hear these sounds of the small waves in the river?"

I enthralled by whatever was happening reply her, "yes"

" That is music oh seeker of knowledge!"

I'm immersed in her song, the song of knowing the unknown, the infinite, the brhama, the song that would make me reach her feet. My eyes are moist now.

I dont know who she was. She took birth in front of me.She stood in front of me now.I can see her. I adore her. She adores me. I found her and she found me.

 I bend down to let my eyes touch her feet, drops of tears  roll from my eyes onto her feet and join into the river. I feel vibes coming from the devis hands over my head,the devi whom I called little girl, Yes she has accepted me. As I raise my head I find myself in the main temple area,Ma Durga's idol in front, the parikrama was over.

Years later I bring my 10 year old son to the temple. In the temple I join hands with him and ask my goddess to shower values upon him. We begin our parikrama. In between all of a sudden he races towards the beautiful pure river behind the temple and pointing towards it asks me,"dad, whats the name of this river?"

I close my eyes and reply him gently,"SARASWATI"